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女儿上学了 Sending Kids Off to School(第1页)

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女儿上学了SendingKidsOfftoSchool

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苏珊·尤尼SusanUnion

Mygirlisgoingtoschool.

&illcouldseehowseveralweeksagotheselayiasclearlyasifithadbeenwritteni.“Fivemoreminutes,hoheoleave.”

Iyfive-year-olddaughter,whohadbeenfrolithePacififorthepasthour.Sherofier,butthedeepblueseawasadifferentmatter.

Maybeshedidn’thearmegherheroaroftheo;maybeshedidhearandwasjustigossibletotell.

&ime’sup,wehavetogourned,gavemea“seeya,Mom”

lookaherintothesurf.IsplashedoutandgrabbedherarMyshorts>

“No!”

shescreamed,“Idon’twanttoleave!”

Shejerkedherarmawayfrommeatlebodya>

Nowshewasinoverherhead.OverewithfearandrageIgrabbedher,firmlythistime,aherout.Shesdthrashedaboutlikeawildanimalatrap,growlingandsg.Thegrittysandgtoourwetskin.

BynowIwasshaking.Icouldhardlybelievee.Ismackedheroomhard.Itstuomakeherfreezeaerigs.Shestoodtherealmostpletelysandahwideopeakeabreath.

“eon!”

IsaidthroughchedteethasIpulledheralongtoaththatwouldleadusawayfromthebeach.Shehoppedalongsideofme,seethingandjibbering.Irealizedshewastryingtotellmesomethielligiblewordsalterhjaggedsobsassheshiftedherweightfromooa!Noereoutofthesurf,thesandwassghot.Ihadbeengherthongsallalong.“I’msosorry,sweetie.Puttheseon.”

Islippedherthorembli.

Thatwasweeksago.Notember,andIwasbathebeae.AsIwalkedthebeach,tearswelledupinmyeyes.Icouldseetheimageofmydaughterearlierthatm,headingintoherfreshlypaienforherfirstdayofschool.Herneackroudlyoverhershoulder.Thedesignofyellolepuppiesandkitteenderyears.

I’ddrivenstraighttothebeachafterdroppiherewassomethingsinthenever-eingandbreakingofthewaves.Ihopedthepoundingsurfwouldsoothemyanxiousthoughts.

Ihaddreamedofthisdayforyears-fivetobeexact.Idreamedofthisdaywhenshewasonlyayearoldaherdayslurgthroughthehouseunsteadily,learningtowalk.Iwassoedthatshemightmaimherself.Ifollowedherarouharmsoutstretchedlikeagiantbear.

o,Ineededabreakfromfull-timemommyhoodbadly.Ihadleftherwithmyparehejobrequiredmeobusiours,wheinylittlev-distanelines,myvoicecrackedsobadlythatIcouldhardlyans

Andthispastsummer,ourdaysoneahercausedhertodemandmyunfailiion.Asthesummer’sheatgrewmoreoppressive,Igotlistlessbutshebecamemorespirited.EverydayIheard,“Mom,let’sgotothepark,let’sgotothebeach,let’sgototheark,let’sgo,let’sgo,let’sgo!”

Whythetearsthen?Istoppedwalkingandsathroalovelybeaagloriousdayfeelingmiserable.Ishouldbehappy,Ithought.Nomoreibardiwelvehoursaday.NowIkfree,usinastreamofectedideas.IwobacktoschoolorstartthebusinessI’dbeenthinkingabout.Icouldgoshoppingbymyself.Icouldrollupthewindowsinmycar,pidsiopofmylungs.

&his,I’dmisshavingherbymyside.I’dbeeusedtohavingatpaniofiveyears.“Don’tworry,Mom,we’llstillhaveether.”

shehadreassuredmeatthebreakfasttablethat

Withthatthoughtinmind,Iythingsoffthebeadheadedformycar.Itwastimetogopickupmybaby-fromherfirstdayofsyangel,Iwaslookingforendingthewoerher.

女儿就要上学了。

然而,我还清晰地记得几个星期前的情景,它就像被写在电影剧本里一样在我眼前浮现。

“宝贝,再玩五分钟,五分钟过后我们就得走了。”

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